This is MY Kingdom - and we'll do things MY way

At the end of this May, Steve and I will celebrate our 45th wedding anniversary. Someday we hope to celebrate it in a big way. We had planned to do so this year with a trip to three beautiful old world cities in Europe. But alas. Plans changed when the Lord directed our steps differently. “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” (Proverbs 16:9.) The Lord’s plans are always for our good. 

I’m still thinking about this milestone - it’s not 50 years, but it is a thing - and am wanting to acknowledge it in some way. What I have decided to do is to write a short recommendation for four of the books that the two of us have read together during the last 45 years. A trip down memory land for me, and hopefully an encouragement for others. 

Have you noticed that most of Paul’s letters in the New Testament start with doctrine and end with practical instruction? This goes against our bent. We are a people who first of all want to be given quick answers. “Tell me how to fix this.”  “Give me a five step program.”

But I learned that my “problems” in marriage were due to faulty theology more than anything else. These days I will help a woman in distress with practical suggestions as well as strongly recommending looking at how her false “theological” view of God and man and salvation is actually foundational to her problems. I’ve encouraged young moms to read theology right alongside books on child raising. 

After God had taught Steve and I so much about sin and grace, he was ready to help us in our marriage. Together we read and taught to a group of young married couples Paul David Tripp’s book, What Did You Expect??  (We have the first printing copy with a terrible cover that looks like clip art and does not encourage you to pick up and read. They have done a much better job on the most recent edition.)

The first chapter begins with theology. Theology applied to marriage. Here are the three truths that are explained.

1. “You are Conducting Your Marriage in a Fallen World.”

2. “You are a Sinner Married to a Sinner.”

3. “God is Faithful, Powerful, and Willing.”

There is a lot in this book about sin. The sin of idolatry, of wanting to be worshipped. Sin always turns our eyes away from our Creator/savior to ourselves and what we think we deserve. By the time God brought this book into our lives, I was ready to have deep soul work done. The matter of who one worships is the deepest kind of soul work. I did not argue with the author when his words exposed the demand that I had placed upon Steve - “This is my kingdom. We shall do things my way. You are here to serve me.”  

And Grace was there. To instruct and cheer. 

God does not save us one day and completely sanctify us the next. Or the next.  His is slow work. Changing us from one degree of glory to another. (2 Cor. 3:18). Steve and I are witnesses to His work. His good and pleasing and perfect work. (Romans 12:2).

Ten years ago, on our 35th wedding anniversary, I wrote this for my kids. 

When I married your father 35 years ago, I never thought about what life with him would look like when we both would be approaching 60 years old.  I was just in love with a man of steadfast character who could make me laugh, who demonstrated a wisdom beyond his extraordinary intelligence, who saw me as an individual with unique gifts and abilities, and who honored the word of God above all.

Never would I have imagined as a college student that I would someday be the mother of six children, become a Calvinist, ride on the back of a Harley, travel around the world and so many other little things that surprise me almost daily.

Today all that I loved about your father has been stretched out over years of experiences where our commitment to each other has been proven, our appreciation for each other has grown exponentially, and our affection for each other brings delight. We are so very happy that we find ourselves working daily side by side in life and ministry.  It seems like a natural progression and outworking of a love and life that has been intertwined for 35 years. 

I want this for all of you.  

How did it come to be? Did I deserve all this? Earn it in any way? No.

God in His kindness put me under the teaching ministry of those who believed the word of God was applicable to all of life’s situations and decisions.  He gave me a mind receptive to instruction and advice.  He gave me a heart to love him and be attracted to others who loved him as well.  He providentially placed me at Biola sitting next to Steve Krogh in English Lit.  And the rest is the continued history of the grace of God at work in us. 

So I pray for the spouses that have already been added to our family.  I pray for the ones that God may still bring into your lives.  

And I pray for you.  That God would tether you to his word so that it is your daily delight and constant reference.  That he would open your eyes to see the glory and wonder and beauty of Jesus so that he is your joy and inspiration.  That you would accept each day as a gift from him- part of the good works that he foreordained that you would walk in.

35 years from now, when you remember dad and me, I hope it is with joy and praise for the grace of God poured out on us.  

This year coming up to our 45th anniversary, I say “Amen” to all of the above. I am thankful for the work God has done in our lives. And is continuing to do. Fitting us for heaven to live with Him there.